Friendship - i may even die for a true one...

Here ...now at this this point of life, and at this nook of the world when all the world had slept behind me...i ponder over the friendships that i had...some did really hate me (still that hatred continues..) and some did really like me (and that likeness continues)..there are friendships which i had lost on my way...but all friends whom i liked a lot, i still keep them close to my bosom... Today when i recollect those friendships which i am so naustalgic about i contemplate on the friendships that i lose due to my ego or foolish acts...i tried to avoid ego trips in my life...but dont know, whether it is there in my genes, i will crack over anything and everything...hit on a hard rock which i know for sure that won't break..even then i bark like a small dog to get all the angriness from everyone who watch me like a bull dog..I have a feeling that when I am close to one , he should also respond in the same way…may be my possessiveness, my ego..which resulted in losing a few who were so dear to me...now, i am not even a thought in their minds...which results in me, a vacant mood...still calculating and thinking over & over on how i should have made those relationships to a healthier one, which at this point is of no use..
telling about all those cracked and broken, i forgot to tell about the good ones that i accummulated over these years ... even at this point of my life, i try to be a good one to whom i am attached to...there are quite a few... but i dont know whether they still have the same sense of friendship to me..some are big daddies and happy husbands now...

for over all these years, i havent had such a one as my kukkoo...and i may even die for her...though ain't sure whether she is my friend or someone else...!!!

i wanna ride my KH still...

I want to ride my scooter on a rainy day..with all the drops falling on my face...my eyes can't open...i can't hear the sound of another rival...the cold-dreaded chill makes a cutaneous sensation when it passes over me...that brings the moments of happiness on my face...i am going at 90km/hr in a 98 cc one...it seems that i move like a spasm, the control is totally involuntary..but not true always, i have full control over the move...,and to every ride that i make...it goes on and on..i wont stop, and i wont start intermittently...i always worried over the fuel costs..my pockets were empty...i wandered like a vagabond...how many times i came across this situation - pushing my scooter across all the ways to a gas station!!! i was tired ...and even then, i tried to repeat what i did. i can't change...my mindset...the chidish acts that i did...i feel like i am still in the academia...havent grown up from my teens...i cannot lead a life which suits a family man...let me live, with my adolescent ideologies!!!